Monday, August 18, 2008

#23 Having Lots of Kids


Very rarely do Christian culture people stop at having one or two kids. They like to press on. Sometimes you meet the couple who says "We're going to have as many kids as the Lord wants us to have," which begs the question, why don't you eat all the food in sight? Since it's available it must mean the Lord wants you to eat it.

You never meet a Christian culture couple who says they don't want to have any kids. It does not occur in nature.

22 comments:

Geosomin said...

That is the best poster.
Ever.

Straight from the Norse's Mouth said...

This poster is missing a few Duggars! To date there is Joshua, Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer (and #18 due in January 2009!).

Magnus said...

I know a few who don't.

stephy said...

Thanks Magnus, now quit crapping on my points.
j/k

Magnus said...

A few, which means three.

hi, i'm angela said...

1. cookie monster is my favorite muppet 2. i like the duggar family. 3. i found myself among much of your list and still kept reading. 4. i must be slipping.

Shari said...

You forgot to add that you're supposed to get married right after high school (or right before graduation) so that you can start making babies ASAP. Of course that's assuming you don't have one of those pesky 5 - 6 month pregnancies. . .

kidsareblessings said...

we don't eat as much food as we see because that's gluttony. but, we should have as many kids as God gives us because that's His blessing... and contraceptives and other methods of avoiding conception are murder as well.

jmarinara said...

"Sometimes you meet the couple who says "We're going to have as many kids as the Lord wants us to have," which begs the question, why don't you eat all the food in sight? Since it's available it must mean the Lord wants you to eat it."

There aren't kids that are available for the taking, and having the food in sight doesn't mean that God wants us to eat it.

Next.

Anonymous said...

science has done studys that show links between a persons iq and the number of shildern they have...the smarter the person the less children...which leads me to if all these idiots keep poping out "God Blessings" maybe thats because they are stupid...just some food for thought

jmarinara said...

It's comments like the one above this one that make for great entertainment. Funny how some people can make personal decisions regarding the size of their family, and are regarded as dumb because they believe in God; yet others can act like a "shild", and pass it off as serious discourse, and no one bats an eye.

That's right up there with "everything came from nothing" being smarter than "someone created everything".

stephy said...

I think jmarinara has a lot of kids.

jmarinara said...

One actually. A 7 year old boy, and the apple of my eye. :-)

Although, admittedly, I'd love to have many more. Not that I feel like I have too, but I want too.

stephy said...

I have a 7 yr old too, and a 4 yr old. It's the best, huh?

jmarinara said...

Yeah, I like being a Dad. One of the best things to ever happen to me. :-)

Anonymous said...

If they believe that God wants them to have as many children as they can, more power to them. They have a strong faith, and if they can handle it while providing for all of their children, good for them. I have 6 kids, and another one on the way, but I know I'm never having 18! My husband and I got married and had our first at age 26, now we're 35 and having our seventh. This is our last, but we know each one of them is a little blessing from God. :)

Holly said...

That poster is the most amazing thing ever. I nearly cried from laughing. The Dugger's freak me out. Shudder.

marie said...

A friend of mine from college, who is a conservative Evangelical/Baptist type, got married (saved their first kiss for marriage!) and got pregnant within the first year. I asked her if it was planned. She doesn't believe in birth control, and basically said that letting nature take it's course was the Biblical thing to do. Now, I've read the whole Bible and never found anything to imply that...but I can see how following Calvin's teachings would.

Amber said...

My husband and I told the church we weren't planning to have kids when he was a youth pastor. Oh noes!!!1! I was seen as evil (read: feminist) for a while, but then we came out as atheists and we were both evil. I am still more evil because I teach in the English department of our local university, which is "a spiritually dark place," thus causing me to pollute my pastor-husband with the taint of the humanities.

Love the blog; it's like a snarky trip through my childhood and not-so-distant past. I have to show this to my husband, who definitely had a faux hawk when he was a youth pastor. It wasn't my fault, I swear.

Adele said...

From now on if ever my fellow Christians want me to pop out a kid, or two, or 10, I will look them in the eye and proudly say "Its a vagina not a clown car!!"

Rollo Tomassi said...

Dear Mr./Mrs. Churchy, please, have all the children you like, but for the sake of sanity STOP feeling some moral imperative to give all of your children Biblical names!

Naming your kid Jabez, Josiah, Habakkuk or Zebedee wont predispose them to a life of holiness anymore than it implies you're holier for having condemned them to a childhood of ridicule and mispronunciations of their name.

I swear, every time a mother comes to pick up her kid from the church childcare and they call for "Zachary", 12 kids look up and say "Yes momma?"

Anonymous said...

I can definitely tell that you have been saturated in evangelical culture because I am always amazed at the accuracy of these posts.

I think a lot of people who aren't familiar with evangelical culture make the mistaken assumption that it's only Catholics who push having as many children as your reproductive organs will allow, but American evangelical protestants also believe that you may not be "aligned with God's plan" if you voluntarily don't reproduce. In keeping good PR, they just aren't as pushy about it. When I say I don't want children, they just ask me "WHY??" as if choosing a life of not getting upholstery vomited on, sleeping in on weekends, and taking frequent vacations is something that is just a terrible self-inflicted misery. They generally don't drag theology into it until the discussion progresses for a while, or, after failing to convince me that my life is somehow "empty" because I enjoy not dealing with a pack of screaming children, they throw up their arms in frustration and just call me selfish. Often they'll say, "Well, pray about it." Some do get ugly about it, and I just tell them to take a hike.