Tuesday, July 28, 2009
#92 Hoping that the rapture doesn't happen until after your wedding night
It goes that people who've been waiting for marriage want to have sanctioned sex here on earth before going to heaven. In Christian culture it's a running joke that you hope Jesus doesn't return till after you get married. Saying this out loud makes a person in Christian culture feel a bit naughty and worldly while staying safely within a Christian context.
The chances that vestal sexytimes will be mentioned during the wedding ceremony are pretty high among Baptists and non-denominational evangelicals. The pastor is likely to make a statement such as "They completed the difficult task of waiting and now they will enjoy the rewards on their honeymoon," "They have honored their purity and tonight is the night!" or "Jessica has saved her virginity for Nick." As odd as it is that the couple's maiden boning voyage is referenced during a holy marriage ceremony, a random and senseless act of good taste does occur: if the groom did not wait for the bride, this is never mentioned.
The subject of the wedding night is never broached during Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran or Methodist weddings. It occurs strictly in less liturgical, evangelical settings.