Wednesday, March 24, 2010

#139 Pew PDA

PDA (public display of affection) takes a specific form in the church pew. When a married couple sits together in church it's understood that the husband will put his arm around the wife and he'll keep it there until it's time to get a hymnal. After the hymnal is retrieved the arm resumes its rightful position like a reflex. The people in the pews behind them are to understand that they have a Good Marriage.

If a couple is engaged or dating, the Pew D. A. can get cheeky. Backrubs are performed with one hand and heads are leaned on shoulders. This is absolutely acceptable in the evangelical worship setting. Dating couples can really get into the back rubbing and you might wonder if they're about to throw down under the hymnal racks. Occasionally they'll each manage to get an arm around the other and rest them along the back of the pew. This is called the Double Reacharound and is performed almost exclusively by new couples.

Whenever the pastor says something pithy or spiritually poignant the man friend will squeeze his ladyfriend's shoulder and they'll exchange a tender glance. If you are single when you observe this (or even if you're not) you may suffer nausea, dizziness, or lack of faith. This is normal. If you continue to experience these symptoms after you leave the church building, maybe you shouldn't go back for awhile.


Calah said...

*Sigh* I was just considering this in church yesterday. It's amusing when it's teenagers. I want to gag/laugh/escape/roll my eyes all simultaneously.

AnnaRebecca said...

OMG, what is With this? Altho I have been church-free and/or Catholic for a while, I remember Vividly the horrors of pew PDA from my childhood. There was this one couple in my church who did not hesitate to include the ass-grab in their PDA repertoire. - They were definitely in their 30s and had kids. - At the time, I too took this as a sign of their Good Marriage (even as I shuddered), but I'm pretty sure they got divorced while I was in college. Yay.

Anonymous said...

oh man as a non christian dating a christian i experienced this when i went to church with him, i could just tell he was so excited to be putting his are around me. i had to look around to see if it was acceptable behavior, apparently so.