Wednesday, August 27, 2008

#38 Bible Covers


Bible covers are purchased almost exclusively by Christian women aged 18 - 94. They usually have a tranquil scene or a Bible verse sewn on them. Little girls often receive Bible covers as Christmas and baptism gifts. In the south they are frequently quilted.


There is also a market, however small, for men's Bible covers. These are made out of something rugged like leather, polartech, or burlap. You will never catch a Christian guy carrying his by the handle because that's too gay.



Some Bible covers have covers of Christian culture books printed onto them which lends mystery to what kind of book is actually inside. Is that a Bible in there or is it the book whose cover is, um, on the cover? But rest assured it's always a Bible. Maybe the formula or inspirational quote on the Bible cover is just there to give its owner a sense of certainty and purpose (see #32).




Simone said...

Do you think the gay strap on the men's covers is a way of God to test people?

michaelstevensrev said...

I love that you have pissed off that guy by being a knock off...I heard christians love bad knock offs anyway:)

Please check this one out. I cannot believe it is real

Derek Lehr said...

Hey Stephanie,

Not sure who you are, but thanks for commenting on my blog. I'll make sure to check yours your favorite book list.

Magnus said...

I am reminded of The Wittenburg Door's Green Weenie Awards, back when they still had them. It was like a Razzie or a Golden Turkey for the crassest most commercial things in Christian "culture". Things like crucifix switchblades, useless consumer goods that were supposed to show everyone just how devout you really are and phony, scam oriented faith healers.

Bob Roberts said...

I especially like the posts with a strong anthropological tone like this one.

Some of my peers and many of the adults I looked up to had bible covers. I never had one, which caused me to break the 10th commandment on a number of occasions.

Melissa said...

have you seen erick's?

Ruth said...

Much as I despise bible covers that match the shoes, I think a bigger problem is the fact that Bibles are so obscenely expensive.

When you've paid $60 for a book, maybe protecting it isn't such a bad idea.

Tucker said...

But you know why we really have these? Cuz the Sword of the Spirit needs a sheath!

MotherBored said...

Loving the blog, dude. :)

As for the Bible covers: I NEED ONE! It would be a nice way to hide the fact that I'm reading books with explicit titles or naked men on the front covers when I'm on public transport. :)

Ruth said...

My husband and I saw a couple at a thrift store the other day. We were trying to figure out what other kinds of books you can cover in them and get away with reading. Harry Potter seemed to be the best fit!

I totally had one when I was younger. :P But despite my being a girl, it was black faux-leather. Win on one count.

Obi-Mom Kenobi said...

I think the demographic is more realistically 4-94. Excellent, excellent site.

Anonymous said...

What, no Obama bible cover?

Lulu said...

When I was a teenager I sewed my own from green and black checkered fabric and I still have it. :)

D Entertainment said...

lui lại, lập tức cương vòng màu xanh bố trí trước người.

- Vô Thượng Chân Hoả.

Nhạc Thành trong tay thủ ấn đánh ra, một cỗ Vô Thượng Chân Hoả lập tức ngưng tụ trong tay, vượt không gian hóa thành một ngọn lửa ngập trời hướng màu đen râu rậm lao đến. Vô Thượng Chân Hoả như là khắc tinh của hắc mang, tại đại lục Huyền Thiên, Nhạc Thành cũng đã biết.

- Ti ti.

Một tiếng đốt cháy lốp bốp vang lên, màu đen râu rậm đầy trời bi Vô Thượng Chân Hoả của Nhạc Thành đốt thành một mảnh sương mù.

Thanh niên Hắc Ám Thần điện sắc mặt thay đổi, hắn cũng không ngờ trên thân Nhạc Thành cdongtam
mu moi ra hom nay
tim phong tro
nhạc sàn
tổng đài tư vấn luật
văn phòng luật hà nội
tổng đài tư vấn luật
thành lập công ty trọn gói
chém gió
trung tâm tiếng anhó ngọn lửa quỷ dị mạnh mẽ như vậy, có vẻ như là khắc tinh của mình vậy.

- Ám ma quyết.

Một mảnh hắc mang quỷ dị được Hắc Ám Thần điện Thanh niên bao bọc ở trong, lập tức, bên trong hắc mang, biến thành một một thanh trường đao dài 2000m bổ về phía Nhạc Thành.

Thanh trường đao giống như xé rách không gian phá không ra, không gian chung quanh gợn sóng chấn động. Cả không gian mấy ngàn thước giống như bao phủ một mảnh khí tức quỷ dị.