Thursday, August 28, 2008

#39 Side Hugs


When greeting someone of the opposite sex, Christians often employ the side hug. This is an unwritten rule of greeting so that you don't mash your naughty bits together and trigger stumbling.*


*The Christian phenomenon of not causing others to "stumble" usually refers to lusting and will be discussed further in a future post.


Jojoellen said...

hahahhaha. to funny. actually sometimes i side hug cause i dont want someones nasty parts to close to me. lol. Dont forget the little pats on the back too with side hug. :O)

mattmetzger said...

lol, i belong to a facebook group called "side hugs suck, give me a real hug you pansy"

Simone said...

I don't think Christian culture smiles upon side or any other style of hug with Richard Simmons. I haven't hugged with him (too sweaty after class), but I have had many kisses on the cheek. Eeeek!

Melissa said...

I give my brother in law a side hug and a pat, only because the thought of smashing my boobs into his chest makes me gag.

Joshua Duncan said...

I think the 'dark side' of the side-hug is the potential communication to girls that they should be embarrassed by or ashamed of their bodies. That was a huge phenomenon I can remember from my church camp years.

What about the side-hug's cousin, the 'lean-in hug?'

hi, i'm angela said...

LMBO! what have i gotten myself into by reading this blog?

side hugs:{This is an unwritten rule of greeting so that you don't mash your naughty bits together and trigger stumbling.*} too funny.

Roberta Flack said...

I hug from behind. Is that weird?

Katie said...

This post (and blog) is hilarious!! And what makes it so funny is there's so much truth to it!!

I hate the side-hug! It absolutely drives me crazy... if you're gonna hug me, hug me like you mean it!

Megs said...

hi Stephy! your wit is hilarious! thankfully i've managed to live much of life without being 'side-hugged', however the exception is an old friend whose home I once arrived at in a sexy mini skirt. He ran out to my car, looked down at the ground and asked me if I would be so kind as to cover my legs, as there were lots of men in the house, and i would cause them to lust... omigod, what does one SAY???!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

stephy said...

I know, that guy had the idea way before I did. He's the true original.

E. Louise said...

I don't think we side-hug so much in the UK and when I came to the US/Canada I got into some awkward embraces with people I thought were gearing up for a hug. One time I got kissed on the neck.
Now I shoot out my hand for a handshake or dive in for a hug they can't avoid and will always remember.
Ps I know a church where the men-leader-types won't shake women's hands for fear of, well, I don't know what. This makes Devious Me want to give them a giant bear hug and watch them explode.

Amanda Fowle said...

OMG YES! I was in the BSU (Baptist Student Union) in college, and we were instructed, yes verbally and visually--girl to girl, on how to give side hugs and not have our boobs make contact. Love your blog!

unsure what to think said...

what are you advocating then? are we not to avoid all appearance of evil? I see your points, but this seems to be mocking purity. anyone can make fun of things, and I see that you're pointing out the shallowness and hypocrisy in many Christians, but what is the better way?

Hollan said...

Its funny that theres a picture of Threes Company side-hugging. Christians hated Three's Company. My brother and I used to sneak and watch it.

Anonymous said...

MASH your naughty bits together!



rachel said...


phillip said...

this is halarious. love it. I'm also from the evangelical christian background *baptist* and it's so true. I created a group on facebook called "Side Hugs suck give me a real hug you panzy!" Ya'll should join it :)

Jenna said...

All about that Christian Side Hug...

D Entertainment said...

- Các ngươi muốn đối phó Thần hoàng tộc cùng Nhạc gia sao, cũng không có liên quan tới ta, về phần ta, cũng không cần các ngươi lo lắng, các ngươi hãy lo lắng cho mình đi.

Minh Yêu nhìn viễn cổ Hổ tộc Thanh niên nói, thần thái vũ mị cực kỳ.

- Tứ đại Thú tộc chúng ta luôn liên thủ tiến thối, chẳng lẽ viễn cổ Minh Xà tộc các ngươi lần này trợ giúp Nhạc gia sao.

Viễn cổ Hổ tộc thanh niên sắc mặt hơi biến, lập tức nhìn Minh Yêu lạnh nhạt nói.

- Hai người các ngươi dongtam
mu moi ra hom nay
tim phong tro
nhạc sàn
tổng đài tư vấn luật
văn phòng luật hà nội
tổng đài tư vấn luật
thành lập công ty trọn gói
chém gió
trung tâm tiếng anhtốt nhất là đừng uy hiếp ta, nếu không nghe lời, ta trước đối phó với các ngươi đã.

Minh Yêu lạnh lùng nhìn viễn cổ Hổ tộc Thanh niên, thần sắc vũ mị đổi lại một tia hàn ý.

- Ta muốn thử các ngươi đến tột cùng có bao nhiêu cân lượng.

Quát nhẹ một tiếng, Hắc Ám Thần điện hắc y Thanh niên đánh ra hắc mang ngập trời.

Màu đen hắc mang quỷ dị tràn ngập, lập tức hóa thành một màu đen râu rậm hướng Nhạc Thành lao đến.

Nhìn công kích này, Nhạc Thành đã thấy nhiều rồi, thân hình mỉm cười